Self- Esteem and Creativity

The idea for the following brief story came to me after reading Stephen King’s book, “On Writing: a memoir of the craft”.  I woke up dreaming about it.   

Photo by Mike Landry

Punishment.

It is recess time at Dawnville Elementary.  Children are playfully running and laughing.  Over near the entrance door a tall thin boy with unkempt shoulder length hair stands alone facing the “punishment wall”.  His name is Justin and this is part of a daily routine after being caught hitting one of his classmates. 

Justice.

Several days later, with two feet of snow on the ground and frigid temperatures, recess is indoors.  The classroom is humming with conversation as children pull games and puzzles from an “activity box” and then spread out around the room.  

Justin is standing by himself staring out the window at the snow covered trees

Alan sneaks up behind him and punches him in the back.   Justin’s body lurches toward the window.  Like a lightweight fighter, Justin steadies his feet and pivots away from the window with both fists raised.  Facing Alan he pulls his right arm back…

“Stop,” Mrs. “G” yells. 

Justin freezes in position.

“Alan, hitting is not allowed,” she says.

Justin drops his arms and stands straight. 

Both boys look stunned.

“Alan, go to your desk and put your head down.”

“But, he…”

“Alan, I saw what you did and how it happened.  Go to your desk, now.” Alan does as he’s told.

“Are you OK, Justin?”

“Yes.”

“Great!”

Relieved, Justin heads to the “activity box” and finds a game he can play on his own, then moves to a spot where he can sit by himself. 

Creative Expression.

Photo by Mike Landry

Later that day Justin is sitting at a round table at the back of the class with four other children and his Remedial Reading teacher, Mrs. “G”.  He thinks to himself:  I’m stupid and I’m always going to be stupid. 

Mrs. “G” hands each of them a piece of wide ruled paper and a pencil.   After reviewing basic sentence structure the group is asked to write a sentence.  “It can be about anything. If you’d like, it can be about a place you’ve gone with someone and had fun.” 

Justin’s hand hits the table hard with a thud as he moves the paper closer. Pressing down hard, he writes, “I do not want to do this.” Mrs. “G” quickly writes a big letter “A” next to his sentence.  “Good job, Justin, you wrote a sentence.”

Almost in tears, Justin looks at her and says, “My father is out of work.  He drinks a lot and sleeps a lot.  We don’t go anywhere or do anything fun.” 

 “Justin, if you could do anything for fun, what would you do?”

“I’d go fishing with my dad.”

Handing Justin a fresh piece of paper Mrs. “G” says, “Then write about that if you’d like.”

Justin quickly wrote down a sentence about fishing with his dad.

After four more “Good Jobs”,  Mrs. “G” moved on to the next part of the lesson where she encouraged each child to expand upon their sentence.

 All five were busy writing when Justin asked if he could draw some pictures about his fishing trip. 

“That is a great idea, Justin!  Does anyone else want some drawing paper and crayons?” Everyone was in.

Their words turned into paragraphs with each adding pictures to go with their soon to be short story books.  

How about you?

Is there a Justin in you?  A part of you that longs to be loved and accepted for who you are;  that yearns to be set free?   If you could do anything just for the fun of it, what would it be?   Be creative. 

I’d enjoy hearing from you.  Share your artistic expression below.  

Resourses:  

"Calling Forth New Life" - Kirk Byron Jones

 “On Writing: a memoir of the craft” - Stephen King

A Picture on the Wall: the Halifax Explosion

Boston responded and Halifax remembers as the Tree for Boston is lit on December 3^rd in gratitude and remembrance of those who died and those who survived the Halifax Explosion.  The lighting of the tree brings fond memories of a family survivor who brought this history to life over many cups of tea and an occasional slice of homemade apple pie. 

In honor of this event I’m sharing a piece of my late Aunt Anna Bella’s story.   Anna Bella is my paternal Grandpa Joe’s younger sister.  

“I tell you, awful things happen in this life, but you’ve got to keep going on…you just have to go on.”  - Anna Bella (Landry) Bradley

The Picture

A large sepia toned family picture was hanging over Anna Bella's bed.

“Could you tell me about the picture over your bed?” I asked.

“It’s the only thing that survived the explosion?” Anna Bella said.

“What explosion?”

“The Halifax Explosion,” 

What follows is a brief excerpt from the stories she shared of survival and tragedy.

The Explosion - December 6, 1917

Halifax Harbor’s piers were busy with ships from many countries being loaded and unloaded in an effort to supply the allies as World War I waged on.  

Five streets up with a beautiful view of the waterfront was 38 Union Street.  

Everyone had left for the day and fourteen year old Anna Bella was busy clearing breakfast dishes off the kitchen table in her family’s first floor apartment.  She's feeling a bit down. Life had changed since her mom passed away of Tuberculosis in January.  Instead of going to school she was keeping house. Between her dad, three older brothers, and younger sister there was a lot to do. While in the midst of this morning routine, she was unaware of what was happening in the harbor.

The Mont Blanc, a fully loaded munitions ship, had been cleared to enter the harbor.

On the other side of the harbor the Imo was making its way out.  Further into the harbor,  a tug is on the wrong side. Before they get to close to each other, the Imo’s pilot switches lanes successfully; which keeps the two boats from colliding.  Now the Imo is on the Mont Blanc’s side of the harbor.

Once in site of each other the Mont Blanc’s horn sounds alerting the Imo to switch lanes.   The Imo signals back, requesting the Mont Blanc move over.  By the time the two ships reverse engines it was too late – the Imo’s hull pierced the Mont Blanc’s.  Then as the Imo’s engine reverses, metal scrapes metal and the two hulls pull apart.  The Mont Blanc’s deck catches fire as it drifts toward Pier 6.

Anna Bella was at the sink doing dishes when the Mont Blanc reaches Pier 6 and blows up. With the force of the blast, the house explodes.  Anna Bella’s unconscious body is thrown several yards away and buried under a pile of rubble.   The once beautiful city of Halifax was in ruins with Anna Bella buried within it.  

Smoke starts to rise from the debris as the embers from overturned coal stoves ignite the downed structures like kindling.  Seeing this, soldiers, family members, and others start calling out and listening for life.   They were hoping to lift people from the ruins before the fires spread.

As Anna Bella regains consciousness she hears the bells of the fire rigs and feels herself being pulled from the rubble and then lowered onto the street. Squinting and adjusting her eyes to the light, she focuses to see her sister Elizabeth in front of her.

The explosion has left Anna Bella’s lip partially torn off and there are cuts on her arm.  They are stitched up, out on the street.  Her face swells to the point where it will be difficult to eat for several weeks.  Once attended to, Anna Bella is relieved to find out that Elizabeth is uninjured.

In the days to come, Anna Bella and Elizabeth are reunited with family and eventually relocated to the Hydrostone section of Halifax.  *

* * * * 

Spending time with my great Aunt Anna Bella and learning about my heritage is like getting some pieces to a larger family history. Thanks to family members from both countries, Canada and the United States, I’m getting more of the missing pieces and they’re starting to fit together. 

I’d appreciate your prayers and support as I spend time each day working on writing my great Aunt Anna Bella’s memoir.  My hope is to portray her 103 years of living a “fully engaged” life as authentically as possible and to have it completed in time for the 100th anniversary of the Halifax Explosion.**  

[*Note: As more information came to light from additional audio recording transcripts of my great Aunt Anna Bella Landry Bradley, it appears that her father was on the scene not long after she was rescued and before they went to the Monastery of the Good Shepherd after their home was destroyed. 

**Note: The scope of my great aunt's life, additional research and interviews, plus relocating have altered my plans.  I've changed the focus of this book to the Halifax Explosion and the family's experience.  The book is progressing with plans to publish in 2022.  Thinking of  My Grands - Passing It On. ]

Find Rest, Peace, and Creativity this Election Season.

Are you feeling a bit fearful and angry this election season?

I sure am.

Not only am I fearful of “all” the political rhetoric, I’m concerned about the resulting anger it’s evoking within me.

Breathe

To calm my fears and relax I used the following words in a similar fashion to a "breath prayer" by taking a breath with each verse I read. 

Rest leads to Peace.

Peace leads to Clarity.

Clarity leads to Creativity. – Kirk Byron Jones, “Calling Forth New Life”

Discover

Mount Agamenticus - Cal Shook

With a more relaxed spirit, the following thoughts surfaced.

What images am I creating this election season?  What Images would I like to create?

With the answers came the insight that my rhetoric needs to be overhauled.

People that disagree with me are not stupid: they have the same fears for the future I have. 

There’s a creative spirit in everyone.

Each of us has the ability to create a variety of images.  From images that warm the soul to those that deaden the spirit.

In a world in turmoil what expressions of creativity are available? 

Am I opening the door or closing it to solutions that are not like mine.

What images are being portrayed this election season?

Are they?

Love or Hate

Peace or Fear

Forgiveness or Revenge

Joy or Misery

Compassion or Cruelty

Empathy or Disdain

York Harbor Daisies - Cal Shook

To truly love self and others requires finding inner peace.  Forgiveness allowed Jesus to say to those torturing him on the cross, “Father, forgive them...” Forgiveness of self and others brings inner joy, which reflects outwardly to others. 

Choose

The choice is each of ours – what type of images do we want to convey?

Images of:

Love, Peace and forgiveness which foster Joy, Compassion, and Empathy
Or
Images of:

Hate, Fear, and Revenge which promote Misery, Cruelty, and Disdain.

Pray

Ask God for help using a prayer like the following reflection prayer.

God please open our minds and hearts to seek out your will and guidance in our creative expression. 

Where there is hatred may we foster love?  May we take time to approach this election season with a more relaxed spirit.  May we open the door to the solutions offered by others not like ourselves, because we’re all here for a purpose.  We all have something to bring to the table.  Together we can create a world of peace and love.

Be Courageous, Change the Things You Can

Cal Shook - Foliage - Newington, NH 

“God grant me the Serenity to

Accept the things I cannot change,

Courage to Change the things I can, and

Wisdom to Know the Difference.” Anonymous

What do you want to accomplish?  Is time passing for you with little to no forward progress?  Be courageous. There are simple ways to start on the path to achieving what you’re dreaming of.

1. Serenity

Serenity is key.  Tapping into the God of peace on a regular basis is essential.

Fear produces anxiety which has a crippling affect.  It blocks communication with others and our ability to think clearly to produce creative solutions in an ever changing world.

It wasn’t until I started taking time to relax that I realized how “un-serene” I’ve been.  With a rested mind I am free to create a new vision and a renewed life.

2.  Acceptance

Accepting that some things are beyond our control can be difficult such as natural disasters and another’s choice.   We can choose our response.  Pausing to relax before we respond can make a big difference in whether we sink or swim.   

My mom had no sense of balance and as hard as she tried was unable to ride a bike or ice skate.  One winter as we headed out to run errands, we started walking toward the car, she hit a small patch of black ice, started to slide, grabbed me and we both hit the pavement. Fortunately neither one of us got seriously hurt just bruised.

Next time out, knowing the driveway was icy, I offered Mom my arm.  Mom wanted to be able to do it herself, to get to the car on her own, so she declined.  She walked as carefully as she could, but found more black ice and down we went.

This pattern would repeat itself unless something changed.

Cal Shook - Foliage - Newington, NH

3.  Change

It takes courage to move beyond our comfort zones, to change the things we can.

Mom and I could have kept hitting the pavement together, but after a couple rounds of ground togetherness a solution was reached.

Even though my mother knew she had a balance problem, it was hard for her to accept my help.  My independent spirit felt for her.  After giving it her best effort Mom once again accepted her lack of balance. Doing so freed her to take my arm on icy days as we headed for the car.  This allowed both of us to walk to the car and remain upright.

Trying to change things beyond my control is like hitting the pavement with Mom.  It leaves me feeling a bit bruised.  "Letting Go" of the things I cannot change allows the bruises to heal and makes for smoother forward progress.

Sometimes it takes a change in attitude, a little readjustment, and a new routine to get a more beneficial outcome.

4. Wisdom

Wisdom is needed to figure out what to “let go” of and what to change.

Fortunately Mom’s and my situation was easy to remedy and we both became part of the solution.  Other situations can take more creativity and time.

In last month's post, "Time Clutter", I talked about how cluttering both physical space and my calendar have been holding me back.  Letting go of “physical clutter” is getting easier every day.  The hardest one is the “Time Clutter”.  If I do nothing to change the way I spend the hours of each day, my dreams may slip away as time runs out. 

Creating a "Time Map" is helping me move forward.

A “Time Map” is a schedule to help you fulfill your dreams.  When you set goals, set aside the time to accomplish them, then start working on them, you’re heading down the path of accomplishment.  A “Time Map” can help you reach your destination, your dream. 

Basic steps for setting up a “Time Map”

Cal Shook - Foliage - Newington, NH

Step 1:  List Your Dreams. 

What are your dreams?

My dreams are to finish my great Aunt Anna’s memoir by 2017 and to keep a well-balanced life in the process

Step 2:  List 5 to 6 Life Categories.

List "Life Categories" that will help you live the life you dream of. Some people find it helpful to color code these.

My list: 
Self (mind, body, and soul),

Family/Friends,

Home Maintenance,

Work,

Writing.

Step  3: How are you spending your time?

Take a close look at where you’re spending your time.

There are 168 hours in a week:

How much time are you spending in the "Life Categories" above?

I’ve used an app called "My Time", just to calculate where I’m spending my time.  This app adds whatever hour amount you put into a "Life Category", that you list, to a total at the top of the screen. Once completed, I realized why I wasn't moving forward.  I could now see that I wasn't spending enough time on the book.  I looked for a way to make this happen.

Step 4:  Where would you like to be spending more of your time?

Choose a “Life Category” you’d like to spend more time on.

Answer the following questions:

How can you spend more time in that area?

Does something have to go to make room?

Be creative.

I discovered that I wasn’t spending enough time "Writing" my Aunt Anna’s memoir.

The bulk of my schedule is my Communication Coordinator position.

Maybe giving up a TV show or two and getting to bed earlier could help?  I’m a morning person so adding a couple hours first thing in the morning seemed logical.   I decided to try getting to bed at 9pm and up at 5am.  I discovered that I couldn’t get to sleep that early.  I changed it to 10pm and got up at 6am.  It worked. It's giving me one to two hours of writing time each day, I am on my way to making the memoir a reality.  

Repeating these steps has helped me make time for "Family/Friends" in the middle of each weekday at lunchtime and on Saturdays.

How about you?
What are the things you are changing or can change to make your dreams come true?

To share your comments or this blog, see the links at the end of this post. 

For more on:
Spiritual Transformation -
"Calling Forth New Life", by Kirk Byron Jones at Amazon
Time Mapping -
“Time Management from the Inside Out” by Julie Morgenstern at Amazon and Barnes & Noble. 

Time Clutter: a strategy for making time for the things that matter.

Photo by Cal Shook at Long Sands, York, ME

Do you have dreams that keep getting pushed back due to the distractions in your life?  You know, those things that have to get done like:  finding ways to pay the bills, shopping, housework, and/or a variety of crisis situations.  

Over the past two months, I’ve discovered two habits that are getting in my way.  The first is “physical clutter” and the second is ”time clutter”.

Physical Clutter

Last month I started sorting through the physical clutter which is documented in last month’s blog. 

This process will take time, but I’m reaping the benefits.  It’s easier to find things.  My study is more comfortable, open, and enjoyable to work in. 

Time Clutter

Time clutter has been the harder of the two for me to work on.   I thought I was a structured person when it comes to time management, but I’m not. A better term might be organized.   Organization had allowed me to get things done related to my job, but I haven’t been structured enough to set a schedule that would empower me to move forward more effectively in making my dreams a reality.

What follows is an abridged version of what I’m gaining from the book “Time Management from the Inside Out” by Julie Morgenstern. This, like physical clutter is a process.

What obstacles are holding you back from accomplishing your dreams?

Obstacle #1:  You have unclear goals and priorities.

“Your job is to re-connect with what makes you happy.” pg. 32

This one is hard to admit since I consider myself organized.  To overcome this obstacle I need to get clear about my dreams and what I want to accomplish.

My dream is to finish my Aunt Anna’s memoir.  My goal is to publish it by 2017.  It’s much closer than it appears.   A full version ready for extensive edits will need to be finished by September of 2016.   Novels can run between 60,000 and 100,000 words.  That’s 273 quality words a day, between now and then.  Before getting to this shorter version of the blog, I’d typed 2,940 words which I’ve shorten to 800 before posting.  This took some time plus running it by a couple proof readers before it was published.  

Another dream is to sell my photographs to help pay for the publishing.  I’ve looked at Shutterfly.com.  If you’re a photographer or know of one who is selling photos with a similar site, I’d appreciate hearing about your and/or their experience(s).

Photo by Cal Shook at Nervous Nellies, Deer Isle, ME

Obstacle #2:  You Have a Fear of Down Time.

                 

“…you may have time to begin dealing with matters you have been afraid to look at.” pg. 34

If I have down time and relax, I’ll see what I’ve been putting off.  This can be painful.

Obstacle #3:  You need to be a Caretaker

“Helping other people can make your life rich and rewarding…but if this gets out of balance, it can cause you to feel resentful, unappreciated, and overwhelmed.” pg. 35

If this is the case for you, Ms. Morgenstern encourages you to:

“Give yourself a break – and give the people around you a chance to grow.

I’m learning to “let go and let God”, as well as to “detach”.   I don’t always do this, but am working on it.

Obstacle #4:  Fear of Failure

“It can be very frightening to go after your dreams and find out you are incapable of achieving them.” pg. 36

“Sometimes just being honest with yourself about what’s the very worst thing that can happen will help you overcome your fear.” pg. 36

I’m choosing to feel the fear and do it anyway because this is hard to face at the moment.

Obstacle #5:  Fear of Losing Creativity

“Many of the most successful creative writers, artists, and musicians find great freedom in structure and discipline.” pg. 39

This is the obstacle that has kept me from creating a “Time Map” or what appears to be the dreaded schedule that I feared would squelch my creativity.  I’m convinced that this is the key to making my dreams come true.  This has been one of the hardest things I’ve done.   As I’ve worked through creating a Time Map and started to use it, I’m already experiencing a sense of ease and a surge in my creativity.

In the next blog, I’ll cover what it’s taken to create a “Time Map” and fill you in as to whether my initial impression of it is holding up as I continue to refine it and use it.

I’d welcome your thoughts and opinions either on Facebook, Google+, or in the Comment section below.  

If you’d like to get a copy of “Time Management from the Inside Out” it’s available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Using Clutter to Your Advantage

Nervous Nellie's

Did you know that clutter serves a purpose?

Discover what it is doing for you and you’ll be able to use it to your advantage.

Having excelled at creating an environment of clutter in my youth, I brought it with me into adulthood.  It’s taken years of buying various containers and reshuffling the clutter out of one room only to have it wind up in another, before I found a workable solution. Discovering the “causes” of my clutter and taking “3 easy steps” have helped me free up space so I can find and use the things I possess.  These ideas are based on the principles in “Organizing from the Inside Out,” by Julie Morgenstern.

Causes

What is this clutter telling me?  What are the causes?

“Need for Abundance” – Being raised by parents who grew up during the depression, I’ve had a fear of going without. Stocking up on food was a regular occurrence.  Just recognizing this has helped me to buy more sensibly.

“Unclear Goals and Priorities” – This required that I sit down and think about what I want to accomplish. Now, it’s time to dream.  I have a passion for photography and would love to make money selling photos.  Therefore everything that would help me toward this purpose stays.  I am in the process of writing my great aunt Anna Bella’s memoir which I plan to complete by 2017. Having the research and all the support material accessible would aid in my being more productive toward this goal.

“Fear of Failure” – Fear that my writing won’t be good enough meant I needed to find a more comfortable and convenient place to write. Writing more will improve its quality.

“Sentimental Attachment” – This is a tough one, so much stuff and so many memories.  For bigger objects that there’s no space for I’ve decided to take pictures of the items to have as mementos. Using the pictures for my memories I am free to sell or donate these items. This will create more space.

3 easy steps

1. Analyze
2. Strategize
3. Attack

1.  Analyze

What’s working and what’s not?

During this phase, I discovered that I do much better organizing supplies like printer ink, copy paper, pens, etc.  I’m not good at filing; therefore papers tend to pile up. The supply cabinet was organized but my work space was not.

My study with its years of research consisting of boxes, books, newspapers, and writings were littering most of the space. Getting to the computer desk was a hazard. There’s a floor somewhere. Finding anything was almost impossible.

2.  Strategize – Create an Action Plan

What follows is a simple strategy for my study. This is where I work on the memoir and do my job as Communications Coordinator for York-Ogunquit Church.

First I mapped out the space, breaking it up into activity zones.

Computer zone: a long desk with drop down keyboard drawer and two computers. One is for my job and the other for the memoir. To make organizing and writing the memoir easier, I’ve purchased software called Scrivener and it’s working quite well.

Copier Zone – a cabinet with the Copier on top and the supplies in it.

Book Case – one shelf for books relating to the memoir, one for communications job books/manuals, and one for photography.

Two research zones – containing information for the memoir. One zone set off to the side on a shelving unit to be used as needed.  The other zone a table that will allow me to pull out then look through information needed for the current chapter that I’m working on.

A filing Zone with two separate file holders one for personal and one for work.

3.  Attack

Now the fun begins.

As I looked at the mess in front of me I took a deep breath.  My goal was to clear the floor in the easiest most effective way possible.  With the above plan, I sorted by section.  All research material in one pile. Books went on the shelves according to topic.  Paper work was sorted into piles – personal or work.  Before long, I found the floor.  I was able to use a folded up bookcase with wide shelves for the research zone. Once the computers were in place, I discovered that there wasn’t a convenient place for the phone.  I re-purposed a small square table that fits perfectly next to the desk.  There’s enough room for the phone, a pad of paper to record calls, and a pen.

I found the floor!  It’s now easier to work on the memoir and do my job.

My biggest hindrance to keeping this space up is filing.  I’m currently working on a simpler system to make this more manageable.

I’m on my way to fulfilling my dreams.

If you found this information helpful, let me know either on Facebook, Google+, or in the comments section below.

In the next blog I will share: “Time Clutter: a strategy for making time for the things that matter.”

“Organizing from the Inside Out” is available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Family Matters

Grandpa Jim, cousin MaryAnn, Me, & sister Karen

“Failing to connect with your family leaves you alone in important ways that lovers, children, friends, and work cannot replace.” – Monica McGoldrick, PhD

Family really does matter.  The way we relate to our family of origin affects our well-being, our lives.  It’s not in separation; it’s in coming together to form healthier relationships that we thrive. 

Having said this, there are extreme circumstances of physical and/or verbal abuse in which separation is necessary.  Be safe.

I believe that within each unhealthy family system there are glimmers of hope.  It’s human nature to want a healthy and fulfilling life.

“Gaining more knowledge of one’s distant families of origin can help one become aware that there are no angels and devils in a family: they were human beings, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, each reacting predictably to the emotional issue of the moment, and each doing the best they could with their own life course.” – Murray Bowen, M.D.

None of us gets through this life unscathed.

Maturity means looking beyond oneself. 

The gift of my grandparent’s generation.

In search of my heritage I spent time with family members from my grandparents generation.

Family photos with stories of tragedy and triumph accompanied by a cup of tea are my treasured memories with two great aunts.  My great Aunt Mabelle, on my mother’s side and my great Aunt Anna Bella, on my dad’s lived 15 minutes apart.  This made it convenient when I’d come in from hours away to see them both on the same day.

Each grew up quickly, having lost a parent as a teenager.  Longevity would be their hallmark with both living on their own up until a short time before their deaths, Aunt Mabelle (93 years) and Aunt Anna Bella (103 years).

Aunt Mabelle, Great-grandmother Judith, Grandmother Marie

 Aunt Mabelle – “Mémère”

“Mémère” – French Canadian for “Grammy”.

An extrovert with an active social life and event calendar, there were plenty of new things to talk about.  As she identified photos I would learn more about her life and the lives of my ancestors, woven with deep loss and great joy. 

Being childless, she helped me grieve, pick up the pieces, and move on. 

Once retired, she offered to be there for the families in her neighborhood.  If a parent was delayed from coming home from work, children had a safe place to come after school.  With her grandmotherly ways, weekdays weren’t the only time children would come over to visit. When she passed, a large arrangement with the word “Mémère” on it adorned her casket.  Inside were trinkets and letters of gratitude for the mutual love between them.

Dan Babineau, Aunt Anna Bella, Uncle Frank and Aunt Elizabeth

 Aunt Anna Bella – Evergreen.

“...your soul could never grow old it's evergreen.” – Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud

Being in Aunt Anna Bella’s presence meant watching the years disappear as she spoke.  A lover of knowledge, she kept up with current trends which made for some lively discussions and contributed to her youthful and energetic personality. 

An introvert, Anna had a small but meaningful group of friends.  She’d tell me to choose my friends well because as you get older you’ll need to find younger ones with a passion for life and a caring spirit.   A family picture hanging over her bed would open the door to a story of horrific tragedy and survival.  This sharing would lead to conversations with relatives from both the US and Canada.  As we continue in dialogue our heritage lives on.  (There will be more on this tragedyin a future blog.)

In searching to learn more about my family history, I had the privilege of attending a retreat based on Bowen Family Systems.  The goal is to reach a more mature state and a more meaningful life through looking at your family history and the way you relate to people in the present. 

Do you believe that you’ve been influenced by the generations that have come before you?

Are you looking for healthier relationships and striving for more meaning in your life?

“Growing Yourself Up” – by Jenny Brown is a condensed version of the retreat.  The helps alone at the back of the book are worth the price. Available at: Amazon and Barnes&Noble

If you have a moment, I’d be interested in hearing a family story that has empowered you. Leave a comment in the section below.