Relationship

Background Photo Credit: www.pixabay.com

Are you yearning for closeness in a relationship? Are you willing to take steps toward intimacy?

It's in using the principles that follow that  I am currently writing a family memoir. By fostering a relationship with my great Aunt Anna Bella and paying attention to what she had to offer, I learned about the events that would shape her life and her "fully engaged" personality. For more on my great aunt click on this link
("A Picture on the Wall.")

The Principles

A relationship becomes stronger when we listen.  For a verbal processor it can be hard to keep from talking long enough to hear the person you’re with. Can you identify? I can.

“Commit” to being present. “Focus” on the person you are with.  “Listen” and “hear” all of what they are sharing.  It takes putting one’s own needs aside and shutting off the inner chatter of your mind. Hear their inner desires without judgment.
 
“Reflect” back to them by showing that you hear and understand. You can do this by saying something like: “It sounds like you mean ___” or “____ really seems painful for you.”  When someone feels heard they’ll “discover” what’s troubling them and be able to put it in perspective.

You’ll know you’re on the right track when their face and shoulders relax and their voice softens. They've reached an Ah-ha moment.  It's that moment when they've figured out what is at the core of their distress.  They begin to “heal”. Watch and hear them become “energized” as they share a “solution” that is uniquely their's.

Closeness abounds when a person feels that they are understood. Their gratitude is evident.

Relationship Recap

Commit 
to being present.

Focus
on the person you’re with.

Listen
carefully.

Hear
what is being said.

Reflect
back what you’ve heard, briefly.

Discovery
will happen if you let it.

Healing
begins.

Solution
found.

The more present we are in a relationship the closer we'll get.

If  you've found this post helpful, feel free to click "Share".  Also, I'd appreciate hearing what you think.

Resources:  The Zen of Listening by Rebecca Z. Shafir, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey, and Listening Made Easy by Robert L. Montgomery

She Lost Her "Best Friend"

A simple Landry family story about the legacy we leave and a not so typical friendship through the eyes of thirteen year old. Though given in the first person, it is compiled from various conversations with my great Aunt Anna Bella Landry (Bradley) and research information available at the time of this writing.

Michael and Charlotte (Bouchard) Landry Family - Circa 1915

January 1917
Halifax, Nova Scotia

I’m thirteen years old and I’m crying uncontrollably. My best friend is gone. Please, it can’t be true, I need her too much. I’m a mess.

The rest of the family is attending the wake and funeral.  They thought my constant crying would be too disruptive, so I’m home.

While sobbing, my thoughts turn to this past year.  It started off great. Each day my younger sister Elizabeth and I would get up early and help Mom get breakfast ready.  Because we have five older brothers, we love having time with Mom.  There are actually four boys at home because Leo has gone overseas to fight for our country.  Also, there would have been three girls, but older sister Bernadette died two months after she was born.

Following breakfast, Dad, Joe, and Dan head off to work. Elizabeth and I clear the table then head out to St. Joseph’s School.  While we’re gone Mom cleans the dishes and does other chores like washing laundry and keeping the house spotless.  All of this is done by hand. We didn’t have a dishwasher or a washer and dryer.

When we returned home, Abe and Jimmy head off to school.  Girls go in the morning and boys in the afternoon because the boy’s school is being repaired.  Mom is spending more time teaching me how to keep house.

Then one dreadful day in June, we got news that Leo had been killed in the Battle of Y-Press in Belgium.  This left a big hole in our family and Mom was never the same.

Summer into fall is hard to remember.    As the days got colder and colder Mom continually went outside, without a coat on, to hang laundry.   When asked about it she’d say she had too much to do to bother with her coat.  Our over protective Mom, not wearing a coat didn’t make sense to me.  Then she got weak and started coughing.  Before long she was getting behind on everyday chores.  Our immaculate house was looking a bit disorganized and laundry was piling up.  Elizabeth and I were worried and so were Dad and the boys.  Mom was hospitalized and diagnosed with Tuberculosis.   She didn’t make it.   I not only lost my Mom, I lost my best friend.

Note:   Great grandmother Charlotte (Bouchard) Landry was 46 years old when she passed away. She sewed the dresses that Anna and Elizabeth were wearing in the picture above.  Charlotte was thrifty with money and she raised children who knew how to take care of it and provide for their families. Her love and dedication to her family live on in the current generations.

Landry family picture:
Back row from left to right –  Private Leo , Michael (Dad), Joseph, Annie Adams (Dan's first wife), Daniel, Charlotte (Mom)
Front Row:  Anna Bella, Elizabeth

School Days – A Lesson on Fear

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (ESV)

With her tea cup clanging as it hits the saucer, my great Aunt Anna lifts the cup to her lips and takes a sip.  I sit in eager anticipation of the history that is about to come to life.

Extreme discipline is at the heart of the story below based on Anna's recollection.

Circa 1915 

Mary is in the principal's office standing in front of Sister Jaine.

"Hold out your hands."

Reluctantly Mary lifts her hands, palms down.

With a ruler, Sister Jaine whacks them.

As the beating continues, “You were told not to walk across the Protestant church yard and you disobeyed.”

Mary’s knuckles start to bleed.

“I hope you have learned your lesson,” says Sister Jaine, “You may return to class.”

Mary returns to class with bloodied knuckles.  The pain and swelling make it hard to concentrate on her lessons.

Once classes are over, Mary walks down the stairs and finds Anna waiting for her.  They head out of the building together. Holding out her bloodied knuckles, Mary shares her story with Anna as they walk home.

“It’s not right, Mary, you shouldn’t have been punished like this,” says Anna.

“When I get home, I’m telling my parents what happened,” says Mary.

The next day Mary’s father walks her to school and into the principal’s office. In a fit of rage, he informs Sister Jaine that Mary will no longer be a student here.

The following afternoon, Anna heads from class to the main entrance of the school.  Sadness sets in with the knowledge that Mary will no longer be joining her on the walk home. Then the image of Mary’s bloodied knuckles comes to mind and the wrongness of it haunts her. They tell us that we’re not allowed to cross a Protestant church yard. What is that going to do to us? They tell us we can’t enter a synagogue or any other church not Catholic. I’m not going to become another religion by entering their building or walking across their yard.  Why are we being taught to hate? This doesn’t make sense.

Afterward

Following the telling of this story, Anna proclaimed, “I still believe in my religion, but why in the name of God was it wrong to cross the yard of a church that’s not Catholic. I went to Jewish ceremonies. I went to Greek baptisms. Doing these things did not make me choose another religion. I believe everyone has a right to their religion. You can believe what you want, just don’t push it on others.  I married a Protestant and I loved him just as much as if he were Catholic.” 

Reflection

When fearful I need to check my words and actions to see if there's a ruler, of sorts, in my hand. Fear clouds my judgment and won't allow me to make informed and caring decisions. My great Aunt Anna would not let anyone bully her into prejudice.  Checking out other faiths, as well as people not like her, Anna's life was enriched with an eclectic group of friends.

Who do you identify with in this story?  Are you the child with bloodied knuckles?  Maybe you're the friend who dared to enter the yard and building of another faith?  Or maybe, like me, there are times when you're fearful and it's tempting to pick up a ruler.

Note:
Anna Bella (Landry) Bradley was 97 years old when she revealed this story. She lived on her own until about six weeks before her death at the age of 103.
Photo Credit:  All three photos from www.pixabay.com

Self- Esteem and Creativity

The idea for the following brief story came to me after reading Stephen King’s book, “On Writing: a memoir of the craft”.  I woke up dreaming about it.   

Photo by Mike Landry

Punishment.

It is recess time at Dawnville Elementary.  Children are playfully running and laughing.  Over near the entrance door a tall thin boy with unkempt shoulder length hair stands alone facing the “punishment wall”.  His name is Justin and this is part of a daily routine after being caught hitting one of his classmates. 

Justice.

Several days later, with two feet of snow on the ground and frigid temperatures, recess is indoors.  The classroom is humming with conversation as children pull games and puzzles from an “activity box” and then spread out around the room.  

Justin is standing by himself staring out the window at the snow covered trees

Alan sneaks up behind him and punches him in the back.   Justin’s body lurches toward the window.  Like a lightweight fighter, Justin steadies his feet and pivots away from the window with both fists raised.  Facing Alan he pulls his right arm back…

“Stop,” Mrs. “G” yells. 

Justin freezes in position.

“Alan, hitting is not allowed,” she says.

Justin drops his arms and stands straight. 

Both boys look stunned.

“Alan, go to your desk and put your head down.”

“But, he…”

“Alan, I saw what you did and how it happened.  Go to your desk, now.” Alan does as he’s told.

“Are you OK, Justin?”

“Yes.”

“Great!”

Relieved, Justin heads to the “activity box” and finds a game he can play on his own, then moves to a spot where he can sit by himself. 

Creative Expression.

Photo by Mike Landry

Later that day Justin is sitting at a round table at the back of the class with four other children and his Remedial Reading teacher, Mrs. “G”.  He thinks to himself:  I’m stupid and I’m always going to be stupid. 

Mrs. “G” hands each of them a piece of wide ruled paper and a pencil.   After reviewing basic sentence structure the group is asked to write a sentence.  “It can be about anything. If you’d like, it can be about a place you’ve gone with someone and had fun.” 

Justin’s hand hits the table hard with a thud as he moves the paper closer. Pressing down hard, he writes, “I do not want to do this.” Mrs. “G” quickly writes a big letter “A” next to his sentence.  “Good job, Justin, you wrote a sentence.”

Almost in tears, Justin looks at her and says, “My father is out of work.  He drinks a lot and sleeps a lot.  We don’t go anywhere or do anything fun.” 

 “Justin, if you could do anything for fun, what would you do?”

“I’d go fishing with my dad.”

Handing Justin a fresh piece of paper Mrs. “G” says, “Then write about that if you’d like.”

Justin quickly wrote down a sentence about fishing with his dad.

After four more “Good Jobs”,  Mrs. “G” moved on to the next part of the lesson where she encouraged each child to expand upon their sentence.

 All five were busy writing when Justin asked if he could draw some pictures about his fishing trip. 

“That is a great idea, Justin!  Does anyone else want some drawing paper and crayons?” Everyone was in.

Their words turned into paragraphs with each adding pictures to go with their soon to be short story books.  

How about you?

Is there a Justin in you?  A part of you that longs to be loved and accepted for who you are;  that yearns to be set free?   If you could do anything just for the fun of it, what would it be?   Be creative. 

I’d enjoy hearing from you.  Share your artistic expression below.  

Resourses:  

"Calling Forth New Life" - Kirk Byron Jones

 “On Writing: a memoir of the craft” - Stephen King

Find Rest, Peace, and Creativity this Election Season.

Are you feeling a bit fearful and angry this election season?

I sure am.

Not only am I fearful of “all” the political rhetoric, I’m concerned about the resulting anger it’s evoking within me.

Breathe

To calm my fears and relax I used the following words in a similar fashion to a "breath prayer" by taking a breath with each verse I read. 

Rest leads to Peace.

Peace leads to Clarity.

Clarity leads to Creativity. – Kirk Byron Jones, “Calling Forth New Life”

Discover

Mount Agamenticus - Cal Shook

With a more relaxed spirit, the following thoughts surfaced.

What images am I creating this election season?  What Images would I like to create?

With the answers came the insight that my rhetoric needs to be overhauled.

People that disagree with me are not stupid: they have the same fears for the future I have. 

There’s a creative spirit in everyone.

Each of us has the ability to create a variety of images.  From images that warm the soul to those that deaden the spirit.

In a world in turmoil what expressions of creativity are available? 

Am I opening the door or closing it to solutions that are not like mine.

What images are being portrayed this election season?

Are they?

Love or Hate

Peace or Fear

Forgiveness or Revenge

Joy or Misery

Compassion or Cruelty

Empathy or Disdain

York Harbor Daisies - Cal Shook

To truly love self and others requires finding inner peace.  Forgiveness allowed Jesus to say to those torturing him on the cross, “Father, forgive them...” Forgiveness of self and others brings inner joy, which reflects outwardly to others. 

Choose

The choice is each of ours – what type of images do we want to convey?

Images of:

Love, Peace and forgiveness which foster Joy, Compassion, and Empathy
Or
Images of:

Hate, Fear, and Revenge which promote Misery, Cruelty, and Disdain.

Pray

Ask God for help using a prayer like the following reflection prayer.

God please open our minds and hearts to seek out your will and guidance in our creative expression. 

Where there is hatred may we foster love?  May we take time to approach this election season with a more relaxed spirit.  May we open the door to the solutions offered by others not like ourselves, because we’re all here for a purpose.  We all have something to bring to the table.  Together we can create a world of peace and love.

Family Matters

Grandpa Jim, cousin MaryAnn, Me, & sister Karen

“Failing to connect with your family leaves you alone in important ways that lovers, children, friends, and work cannot replace.” – Monica McGoldrick, PhD

Family really does matter.  The way we relate to our family of origin affects our well-being, our lives.  It’s not in separation; it’s in coming together to form healthier relationships that we thrive. 

Having said this, there are extreme circumstances of physical and/or verbal abuse in which separation is necessary.  Be safe.

I believe that within each unhealthy family system there are glimmers of hope.  It’s human nature to want a healthy and fulfilling life.

“Gaining more knowledge of one’s distant families of origin can help one become aware that there are no angels and devils in a family: they were human beings, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, each reacting predictably to the emotional issue of the moment, and each doing the best they could with their own life course.” – Murray Bowen, M.D.

None of us gets through this life unscathed.

Maturity means looking beyond oneself. 

The gift of my grandparent’s generation.

In search of my heritage I spent time with family members from my grandparents generation.

Family photos with stories of tragedy and triumph accompanied by a cup of tea are my treasured memories with two great aunts.  My great Aunt Mabelle, on my mother’s side and my great Aunt Anna Bella, on my dad’s lived 15 minutes apart.  This made it convenient when I’d come in from hours away to see them both on the same day.

Each grew up quickly, having lost a parent as a teenager.  Longevity would be their hallmark with both living on their own up until a short time before their deaths, Aunt Mabelle (93 years) and Aunt Anna Bella (103 years).

Aunt Mabelle, Great-grandmother Judith, Grandmother Marie

 Aunt Mabelle – “Mémère”

“Mémère” – French Canadian for “Grammy”.

An extrovert with an active social life and event calendar, there were plenty of new things to talk about.  As she identified photos I would learn more about her life and the lives of my ancestors, woven with deep loss and great joy. 

Being childless, she helped me grieve, pick up the pieces, and move on. 

Once retired, she offered to be there for the families in her neighborhood.  If a parent was delayed from coming home from work, children had a safe place to come after school.  With her grandmotherly ways, weekdays weren’t the only time children would come over to visit. When she passed, a large arrangement with the word “Mémère” on it adorned her casket.  Inside were trinkets and letters of gratitude for the mutual love between them.

Dan Babineau, Aunt Anna Bella, Uncle Frank and Aunt Elizabeth

 Aunt Anna Bella – Evergreen.

“...your soul could never grow old it's evergreen.” – Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud

Being in Aunt Anna Bella’s presence meant watching the years disappear as she spoke.  A lover of knowledge, she kept up with current trends which made for some lively discussions and contributed to her youthful and energetic personality. 

An introvert, Anna had a small but meaningful group of friends.  She’d tell me to choose my friends well because as you get older you’ll need to find younger ones with a passion for life and a caring spirit.   A family picture hanging over her bed would open the door to a story of horrific tragedy and survival.  This sharing would lead to conversations with relatives from both the US and Canada.  As we continue in dialogue our heritage lives on.  (There will be more on this tragedyin a future blog.)

In searching to learn more about my family history, I had the privilege of attending a retreat based on Bowen Family Systems.  The goal is to reach a more mature state and a more meaningful life through looking at your family history and the way you relate to people in the present. 

Do you believe that you’ve been influenced by the generations that have come before you?

Are you looking for healthier relationships and striving for more meaning in your life?

“Growing Yourself Up” – by Jenny Brown is a condensed version of the retreat.  The helps alone at the back of the book are worth the price. Available at: Amazon and Barnes&Noble

If you have a moment, I’d be interested in hearing a family story that has empowered you. Leave a comment in the section below. 

Be a Bridge Builder: Be the Artist You Were Created to Be.

Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge, New York City - Wikepedia

“Who can deny that the Queensborough Bridge is the work of a creative artist?”

“Behold its liberal loveliness of length,

       A flowing span from shore to shore,

       A brimming reach of beauty matched with strength,

       It shines and climbs like some miraculous dream,

       Like some vision multitudinous and agleam,

       A passion of desire held captive in the clasp of vast utility.” Helen Keller, Midstream

How does someone who is blind and deaf write such beautiful flowing words about a bridge?

Helen Keller traveled across this bridge numerous times with various companions; each offering their experience as they road up to and over it. This was done by either signing into Helen’s hand or allowing her to place her hand on their lips while speaking about it. Helen responded to their observations in a similar manner, making comments and asking question to get a deeper understanding of their perceptions. Helen took these tactile images stored in her mind, as one looking at digital photos from a variety of photographers, then composed what she envisioned in the above quote.

Two works of art, each possessing beauty and relevance, one created by an architect and the other by a writer. Oh, to create something so delightfully useful, something that stirs the soul from start to finish.

Bay Bridge, Maryland - Cal Shook

As I ponder the time and effort required to build this bridge and Helen’s description of it, I’m reminded that both took years to perfect.  To become the artist I’m created to be requires building a bridge to mastering my talents and abilities. There’s a creative photographer and writer within me.

Over the past several months, I’m learning to let go of unnecessary things that are jamming up my time and leading me away from these passions and suffocating my spirit. The more I let go the more room I have for things that rejuvenate me like eating well, getting plenty of sleep, and getting exercise.

When I get to bed early, I wake refreshed to ponder the words for the next blog post or my first book. Energized, I transcribe the stream of thoughts, no matter how illogical they seem.   Rearranging them, crossing off the unnecessary as I strive to create a logical piece.  Later in the day, my spirit feels light and free as I pick up the camera and head out for a walk with my husband Jim.  We move along watching nature unfold before us with its varied landscapes and activity, hoping to capture that unique moment.

What passion is burning inside of you?
Are you making time for the artist within?
If not, how might you do so?

Resources:
Midstream - Helen Keller
Art of Work - Jeff Goins
How to Build a Bridge audio - Jeff Goins

Pushing Through the Pain

North Myrtle Beach, SC - Cal Shook

What does it take to become a teacher when you can barely see?  

It takes “pushing through the pain”.

“Fortune favors the motivated.” – Jeff Goins, The Art of Work

1.  What would you like to achieve? 

Anne Sullivan pushed through the pain of limited vision, being abandoned, and living in poverty to dream of getting an education.

Helen Keller lost her sight and hearing at 19 months.  As Helen grew, she desired a better method of understanding and interacting with people and the world around her.  

2. Are you willing to push through the pain to get there?

At fourteen, Anne got up the courage to tell an influential adult that she wanted to go to school.

Within months, she started school at Perkins Institute.

Because of her age, Anne was starting school at a disadvantage.   

“Anne Sullivan's recollections of her early years at Perkins were mainly of feeling humiliated about her own shortcomings. Her anger and shame fueled a determination to excel in her studies. She was a very bright young woman, and in a very short time she closed the gaps in her academic skills.” – Perkins.org

Anne’s tenacity and determination, plus the support and nurturing of teachers and a housemother, aided her in graduating from Perkins Institute.

When offered the job to be Helen Keller’s teacher, Anne accepted.  Her life experiences were well suited to Helen’s strong-willed personality. 

Helen writes about meeting Anne for the first time.

“I felt approaching footsteps, I stretched out my hand as I supposed to my mother. Some one took it, and I was caught up and held close in the arms of her who had come to reveal all things to me, and, more than all things else, to love me.” – Helen Keller, The Story of My Life.

Day after day Anne would have Helen touch an item, then finger spell the word into Helen’s hand. Then one day at the well-house, with water pouring over one hand and Anne finger spelling the letters in the other, Helen made the connection.  The liquid pouring over her hand was “w-a-t-e-r”.

“That living word awakened my soul, gave it light,  hope, joy, set me free?  There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away.  I left the well-house eager to learn.” – Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

As Helen’s vocabulary grew, so did her desire to communicate more effectively. Helen wanted to be able to speak and read lips with her hand.  A woman named Sarah Fuller, principal of Horace Mann School, offered to teach her.  Anne took Helen to the lessons.  

“Miss Fuller gave me eleven lessons in all. I shall never forget the surprise and delight I felt when I uttered my first connected sentence, ‘It is warm.’ True, they were broken and stammering syllables; but they were human speech. My soul, conscious of new strength, came out of bondage, and was reaching through those broken symbols of speech to all knowledge and all faith.’ – Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

Effective communication takes time.  Helen's words remind me that even if it’s not perfect, like putting the words together for this blog, it’s important to keep working at it.  I desire to find “new strength” to find my voice. 

Today we saw how Anne pushed through the pain of abandonment and poverty to complete her education.  How not giving up and signing over and over until Helen made the connection, paid off. Once the connection was made, Helen thrived and wanted to push through to even greater achievement in communicating with others.  In the next blog, we’ll go deeper into Helen’s journey toward fulfillment in “Be a Bridge Builder.”

Feel free to share your ideas and/or journey in the comments section below.

Next Steps:

Read more about:

Pushing through the Pain "Painful Practice" - The Art of Work by Jeff Goins

Anne Sullivan

Helen Keller 

For notification of my next blog, "Be a Bridge Builder", sign up by clicking on "Subscribe To".

Accidental Apprenticeships

Nubble Light, Cape Neddick, ME - Cal Shook

“An accidental apprenticeship begins with listening to your life and paying attention to the ways in which you’re already being prepared for your life’s work.” – Jeff Goins

You are who you are because of your experiences.  Some are a result of the life you were born into; others are by choice.  As you listen to your life, patterns will emerge.

Life is happening all around you – explore its mysteries.  The answers are within reach, seek them out.
Answers to questions like:
What fuels your soul?
What are you drawn to?
What do you want to accomplish?
What are you here for?

Move into action by acknowledging your accidental apprenticeships.  Learn from them. Masters are the people in your life who have the skills and/or qualities that move you forward in fulfilling your life’s purpose?

“Every story of success is a story of community.  Although mentors are hard to come by, accidental apprenticeships are everywhere. Your life is preparing you for what’s to come.” Jeff Goins

Follow Your Dreams.

Author Elizabeth (Betty) Wilder and I met several years ago at York Ogunquit church.  During the time we've known each other, Betty has written her first novel, "The Spruce Gum Box" (at the age of 72), and two subsequent novels to finish the trilogy.  She is currently working on her forth book. Betty not only inspires me, she encourages all of us to follow our dreams and take action no matter what stage of life we’re at.

Betty keeps in touch with friends on Facebook by sharing her travels and current engagements.  She generously promotes other authors on Twitter.  It’s through her promotion of Jen Blood’s book, “All the Blue Eyed Angels,” that another accidental apprenticeship came into my life.

Connect with Others.

Jen Blood, author of the “Erin Solomon Mysteries” knows how to engage a social media audience with her personal and relatable style.

One of my favorite examples happened with her Facebook group called the “Erin Solomon Press Corps.” Jen asked us for help.  She wasn’t sure about the new cover design for “Southern Cross”.   A lively discussion followed, adaptations made, and a new cover design approved.  I enjoyed watching this process unfold.

Jen connects with others (her followers) throughout the week and offers a variety of promotions. When her name or group pops up, there’s a curiosity factor that’s hard to resist.

Putting it all together.

Elizabeth (Betty) Wilder and Jen Blood are two masters that I am grateful to be learning from.  The examples given are only a small glimpse into what I’m acquiring from both of them.

As I work my way through Jeff Goin’s book “The Art of Work,” I’m gaining new insights that are moving me forward as a writer.  These accidental apprenticeships are helping me do just that.

What are the accidental apprenticeships in your life?  How are you using them to move forward with your life’s purpose?

Next Steps
Read more about:
Accidental Apprenticeships podcast with “The Art of Work” author Jeff Goins
Elizabeth (Betty) Wilder at her author page: Elizabeth Wilder
Jen Blood at her author’s page:  Jen Blood     .
Check back next week for "Pushing Through the Pain."

Exploring the Writer Within

Explore - Long Sands, York, ME - Cal Shook

Be Aware – Listen to Your Life – Part 2

“You don’t ‘just know’ what you calling is. You must listen for clues along the way, discovering what your life can tell you. Awareness comes with practice.” – Jeff Goins

Clue #1: An Inner Yearning

When I was eight my cousin Mary Ann was born with Down syndrome.  A few weeks later my brother Jay was born.  There were complications, during delivery, where we almost lost both of them.  Days later, Mom and Jay returned home.  Mom’s recovery would take time; Jay appeared unharmed.

Both Mary Ann and Jay delighted me with their individuality and abilities as they grew. Mary Ann’s beautiful smile and laid back nature plus Jay’s zest for life and rambunctiousness made for unique play time experiences during family gatherings.  While observing the two of them something kindled inside of me, a yearning to help people thrive and use their abilities to a live a happy and fulfilling life.

Clue #2: A Desire

My first memory of writing:

While a single mom was out working, her three teenagers decided to have a party.  Beer was being passed around and at times wound up in the fish tank.  Note to self, don’t bring out a pocket sized pad of paper and pen in the middle of a party and start writing.  It makes people uneasy and you might not stay very long.

Clue #3:  Finding Meaningful Expression

College and working toward a degree in Human Services gave me ample opportunities to serve others then write about the experiences.  I enjoy the creative process.  When the words flow and provoke a reaction from a reader it stirs my soul.  It felt good to get comments like “a unique take” and “creative” in response to my papers.

One of my favorite people to work with and write about was “Berkie” who’s only home for the first 40 years of his life was a state institution.  Living conditions were deplorable. Thanks to deinstitutionalization, “Berkie” was sent to a group home.  This afforded him ample opportunities to gain social and work relate skills through field trips and attending a sheltered workshop. When I first met “Berkie” he could barely say “yes” and “no”.  As experiences heightened his emotions, more words started to come out.  “Tree”, “Chop”, and “Big” came out in joyous delight as he expressed his enthusiasm about his first Christmas tree.  Then there’s the riding stable where “Berkie” looked a bit nervous as he stared at the horse towering over his small frame. Two of us helped him on.  As his body slid into the saddle, he looked down and yelled, “Me Break Neck!”…“Me Break Neck!”. The horse was carefully moved forward and within minutes “Berkie’s” fear turned into joy.

Uncovering the clues: 1. An inner yearning to empower others, 2. A desire to record events, and 3. A pursuit of meaningful expression, have rekindled the writer within.

What is your life telling you?  Is there a writer in you? Maybe there’s something else waiting to burst forth?  Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Next steps:

Listening to Your Life audio podcast, with “The Art of Work” author Jeff Goins.

Check back next week for: “Accidental Apprenticeships” or "Subcribe" to this blog.