Time Clutter: a strategy for making time for the things that matter.

Photo by Cal Shook at Long Sands, York, ME

Do you have dreams that keep getting pushed back due to the distractions in your life?  You know, those things that have to get done like:  finding ways to pay the bills, shopping, housework, and/or a variety of crisis situations.  

Over the past two months, I’ve discovered two habits that are getting in my way.  The first is “physical clutter” and the second is ”time clutter”.

Physical Clutter

Last month I started sorting through the physical clutter which is documented in last month’s blog. 

This process will take time, but I’m reaping the benefits.  It’s easier to find things.  My study is more comfortable, open, and enjoyable to work in. 

Time Clutter

Time clutter has been the harder of the two for me to work on.   I thought I was a structured person when it comes to time management, but I’m not. A better term might be organized.   Organization had allowed me to get things done related to my job, but I haven’t been structured enough to set a schedule that would empower me to move forward more effectively in making my dreams a reality.

What follows is an abridged version of what I’m gaining from the book “Time Management from the Inside Out” by Julie Morgenstern. This, like physical clutter is a process.

What obstacles are holding you back from accomplishing your dreams?

Obstacle #1:  You have unclear goals and priorities.

“Your job is to re-connect with what makes you happy.” pg. 32

This one is hard to admit since I consider myself organized.  To overcome this obstacle I need to get clear about my dreams and what I want to accomplish.

My dream is to finish my Aunt Anna’s memoir.  My goal is to publish it by 2017.  It’s much closer than it appears.   A full version ready for extensive edits will need to be finished by September of 2016.   Novels can run between 60,000 and 100,000 words.  That’s 273 quality words a day, between now and then.  Before getting to this shorter version of the blog, I’d typed 2,940 words which I’ve shorten to 800 before posting.  This took some time plus running it by a couple proof readers before it was published.  

Another dream is to sell my photographs to help pay for the publishing.  I’ve looked at Shutterfly.com.  If you’re a photographer or know of one who is selling photos with a similar site, I’d appreciate hearing about your and/or their experience(s).

Photo by Cal Shook at Nervous Nellies, Deer Isle, ME

Obstacle #2:  You Have a Fear of Down Time.

                 

“…you may have time to begin dealing with matters you have been afraid to look at.” pg. 34

If I have down time and relax, I’ll see what I’ve been putting off.  This can be painful.

Obstacle #3:  You need to be a Caretaker

“Helping other people can make your life rich and rewarding…but if this gets out of balance, it can cause you to feel resentful, unappreciated, and overwhelmed.” pg. 35

If this is the case for you, Ms. Morgenstern encourages you to:

“Give yourself a break – and give the people around you a chance to grow.

I’m learning to “let go and let God”, as well as to “detach”.   I don’t always do this, but am working on it.

Obstacle #4:  Fear of Failure

“It can be very frightening to go after your dreams and find out you are incapable of achieving them.” pg. 36

“Sometimes just being honest with yourself about what’s the very worst thing that can happen will help you overcome your fear.” pg. 36

I’m choosing to feel the fear and do it anyway because this is hard to face at the moment.

Obstacle #5:  Fear of Losing Creativity

“Many of the most successful creative writers, artists, and musicians find great freedom in structure and discipline.” pg. 39

This is the obstacle that has kept me from creating a “Time Map” or what appears to be the dreaded schedule that I feared would squelch my creativity.  I’m convinced that this is the key to making my dreams come true.  This has been one of the hardest things I’ve done.   As I’ve worked through creating a Time Map and started to use it, I’m already experiencing a sense of ease and a surge in my creativity.

In the next blog, I’ll cover what it’s taken to create a “Time Map” and fill you in as to whether my initial impression of it is holding up as I continue to refine it and use it.

I’d welcome your thoughts and opinions either on Facebook, Google+, or in the Comment section below.  

If you’d like to get a copy of “Time Management from the Inside Out” it’s available at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

Using Clutter to Your Advantage

Nervous Nellie's

Did you know that clutter serves a purpose?

Discover what it is doing for you and you’ll be able to use it to your advantage.

Having excelled at creating an environment of clutter in my youth, I brought it with me into adulthood.  It’s taken years of buying various containers and reshuffling the clutter out of one room only to have it wind up in another, before I found a workable solution. Discovering the “causes” of my clutter and taking “3 easy steps” have helped me free up space so I can find and use the things I possess.  These ideas are based on the principles in “Organizing from the Inside Out,” by Julie Morgenstern.

Causes

What is this clutter telling me?  What are the causes?

“Need for Abundance” – Being raised by parents who grew up during the depression, I’ve had a fear of going without. Stocking up on food was a regular occurrence.  Just recognizing this has helped me to buy more sensibly.

“Unclear Goals and Priorities” – This required that I sit down and think about what I want to accomplish. Now, it’s time to dream.  I have a passion for photography and would love to make money selling photos.  Therefore everything that would help me toward this purpose stays.  I am in the process of writing my great aunt Anna Bella’s memoir which I plan to complete by 2017. Having the research and all the support material accessible would aid in my being more productive toward this goal.

“Fear of Failure” – Fear that my writing won’t be good enough meant I needed to find a more comfortable and convenient place to write. Writing more will improve its quality.

“Sentimental Attachment” – This is a tough one, so much stuff and so many memories.  For bigger objects that there’s no space for I’ve decided to take pictures of the items to have as mementos. Using the pictures for my memories I am free to sell or donate these items. This will create more space.

3 easy steps

1. Analyze
2. Strategize
3. Attack

1.  Analyze

What’s working and what’s not?

During this phase, I discovered that I do much better organizing supplies like printer ink, copy paper, pens, etc.  I’m not good at filing; therefore papers tend to pile up. The supply cabinet was organized but my work space was not.

My study with its years of research consisting of boxes, books, newspapers, and writings were littering most of the space. Getting to the computer desk was a hazard. There’s a floor somewhere. Finding anything was almost impossible.

2.  Strategize – Create an Action Plan

What follows is a simple strategy for my study. This is where I work on the memoir and do my job as Communications Coordinator for York-Ogunquit Church.

First I mapped out the space, breaking it up into activity zones.

Computer zone: a long desk with drop down keyboard drawer and two computers. One is for my job and the other for the memoir. To make organizing and writing the memoir easier, I’ve purchased software called Scrivener and it’s working quite well.

Copier Zone – a cabinet with the Copier on top and the supplies in it.

Book Case – one shelf for books relating to the memoir, one for communications job books/manuals, and one for photography.

Two research zones – containing information for the memoir. One zone set off to the side on a shelving unit to be used as needed.  The other zone a table that will allow me to pull out then look through information needed for the current chapter that I’m working on.

A filing Zone with two separate file holders one for personal and one for work.

3.  Attack

Now the fun begins.

As I looked at the mess in front of me I took a deep breath.  My goal was to clear the floor in the easiest most effective way possible.  With the above plan, I sorted by section.  All research material in one pile. Books went on the shelves according to topic.  Paper work was sorted into piles – personal or work.  Before long, I found the floor.  I was able to use a folded up bookcase with wide shelves for the research zone. Once the computers were in place, I discovered that there wasn’t a convenient place for the phone.  I re-purposed a small square table that fits perfectly next to the desk.  There’s enough room for the phone, a pad of paper to record calls, and a pen.

I found the floor!  It’s now easier to work on the memoir and do my job.

My biggest hindrance to keeping this space up is filing.  I’m currently working on a simpler system to make this more manageable.

I’m on my way to fulfilling my dreams.

If you found this information helpful, let me know either on Facebook, Google+, or in the comments section below.

In the next blog I will share: “Time Clutter: a strategy for making time for the things that matter.”

“Organizing from the Inside Out” is available at Amazon and Barnes & Noble

Family Matters

Grandpa Jim, cousin MaryAnn, Me, & sister Karen

“Failing to connect with your family leaves you alone in important ways that lovers, children, friends, and work cannot replace.” – Monica McGoldrick, PhD

Family really does matter.  The way we relate to our family of origin affects our well-being, our lives.  It’s not in separation; it’s in coming together to form healthier relationships that we thrive. 

Having said this, there are extreme circumstances of physical and/or verbal abuse in which separation is necessary.  Be safe.

I believe that within each unhealthy family system there are glimmers of hope.  It’s human nature to want a healthy and fulfilling life.

“Gaining more knowledge of one’s distant families of origin can help one become aware that there are no angels and devils in a family: they were human beings, each with their own strengths and weaknesses, each reacting predictably to the emotional issue of the moment, and each doing the best they could with their own life course.” – Murray Bowen, M.D.

None of us gets through this life unscathed.

Maturity means looking beyond oneself. 

The gift of my grandparent’s generation.

In search of my heritage I spent time with family members from my grandparents generation.

Family photos with stories of tragedy and triumph accompanied by a cup of tea are my treasured memories with two great aunts.  My great Aunt Mabelle, on my mother’s side and my great Aunt Anna Bella, on my dad’s lived 15 minutes apart.  This made it convenient when I’d come in from hours away to see them both on the same day.

Each grew up quickly, having lost a parent as a teenager.  Longevity would be their hallmark with both living on their own up until a short time before their deaths, Aunt Mabelle (93 years) and Aunt Anna Bella (103 years).

Aunt Mabelle, Great-grandmother Judith, Grandmother Marie

 Aunt Mabelle – “Mémère”

“Mémère” – French Canadian for “Grammy”.

An extrovert with an active social life and event calendar, there were plenty of new things to talk about.  As she identified photos I would learn more about her life and the lives of my ancestors, woven with deep loss and great joy. 

Being childless, she helped me grieve, pick up the pieces, and move on. 

Once retired, she offered to be there for the families in her neighborhood.  If a parent was delayed from coming home from work, children had a safe place to come after school.  With her grandmotherly ways, weekdays weren’t the only time children would come over to visit. When she passed, a large arrangement with the word “Mémère” on it adorned her casket.  Inside were trinkets and letters of gratitude for the mutual love between them.

Dan Babineau, Aunt Anna Bella, Uncle Frank and Aunt Elizabeth

 Aunt Anna Bella – Evergreen.

“...your soul could never grow old it's evergreen.” – Ed Sheeran, Thinking Out Loud

Being in Aunt Anna Bella’s presence meant watching the years disappear as she spoke.  A lover of knowledge, she kept up with current trends which made for some lively discussions and contributed to her youthful and energetic personality. 

An introvert, Anna had a small but meaningful group of friends.  She’d tell me to choose my friends well because as you get older you’ll need to find younger ones with a passion for life and a caring spirit.   A family picture hanging over her bed would open the door to a story of horrific tragedy and survival.  This sharing would lead to conversations with relatives from both the US and Canada.  As we continue in dialogue our heritage lives on.  (There will be more on this tragedyin a future blog.)

In searching to learn more about my family history, I had the privilege of attending a retreat based on Bowen Family Systems.  The goal is to reach a more mature state and a more meaningful life through looking at your family history and the way you relate to people in the present. 

Do you believe that you’ve been influenced by the generations that have come before you?

Are you looking for healthier relationships and striving for more meaning in your life?

“Growing Yourself Up” – by Jenny Brown is a condensed version of the retreat.  The helps alone at the back of the book are worth the price. Available at: Amazon and Barnes&Noble

If you have a moment, I’d be interested in hearing a family story that has empowered you. Leave a comment in the section below. 

Be a Bridge Builder: Be the Artist You Were Created to Be.

Ed Koch Queensboro Bridge, New York City - Wikepedia

“Who can deny that the Queensborough Bridge is the work of a creative artist?”

“Behold its liberal loveliness of length,

       A flowing span from shore to shore,

       A brimming reach of beauty matched with strength,

       It shines and climbs like some miraculous dream,

       Like some vision multitudinous and agleam,

       A passion of desire held captive in the clasp of vast utility.” Helen Keller, Midstream

How does someone who is blind and deaf write such beautiful flowing words about a bridge?

Helen Keller traveled across this bridge numerous times with various companions; each offering their experience as they road up to and over it. This was done by either signing into Helen’s hand or allowing her to place her hand on their lips while speaking about it. Helen responded to their observations in a similar manner, making comments and asking question to get a deeper understanding of their perceptions. Helen took these tactile images stored in her mind, as one looking at digital photos from a variety of photographers, then composed what she envisioned in the above quote.

Two works of art, each possessing beauty and relevance, one created by an architect and the other by a writer. Oh, to create something so delightfully useful, something that stirs the soul from start to finish.

Bay Bridge, Maryland - Cal Shook

As I ponder the time and effort required to build this bridge and Helen’s description of it, I’m reminded that both took years to perfect.  To become the artist I’m created to be requires building a bridge to mastering my talents and abilities. There’s a creative photographer and writer within me.

Over the past several months, I’m learning to let go of unnecessary things that are jamming up my time and leading me away from these passions and suffocating my spirit. The more I let go the more room I have for things that rejuvenate me like eating well, getting plenty of sleep, and getting exercise.

When I get to bed early, I wake refreshed to ponder the words for the next blog post or my first book. Energized, I transcribe the stream of thoughts, no matter how illogical they seem.   Rearranging them, crossing off the unnecessary as I strive to create a logical piece.  Later in the day, my spirit feels light and free as I pick up the camera and head out for a walk with my husband Jim.  We move along watching nature unfold before us with its varied landscapes and activity, hoping to capture that unique moment.

What passion is burning inside of you?
Are you making time for the artist within?
If not, how might you do so?

Resources:
Midstream - Helen Keller
Art of Work - Jeff Goins
How to Build a Bridge audio - Jeff Goins

Pushing Through the Pain

North Myrtle Beach, SC - Cal Shook

What does it take to become a teacher when you can barely see?  

It takes “pushing through the pain”.

“Fortune favors the motivated.” – Jeff Goins, The Art of Work

1.  What would you like to achieve? 

Anne Sullivan pushed through the pain of limited vision, being abandoned, and living in poverty to dream of getting an education.

Helen Keller lost her sight and hearing at 19 months.  As Helen grew, she desired a better method of understanding and interacting with people and the world around her.  

2. Are you willing to push through the pain to get there?

At fourteen, Anne got up the courage to tell an influential adult that she wanted to go to school.

Within months, she started school at Perkins Institute.

Because of her age, Anne was starting school at a disadvantage.   

“Anne Sullivan's recollections of her early years at Perkins were mainly of feeling humiliated about her own shortcomings. Her anger and shame fueled a determination to excel in her studies. She was a very bright young woman, and in a very short time she closed the gaps in her academic skills.” – Perkins.org

Anne’s tenacity and determination, plus the support and nurturing of teachers and a housemother, aided her in graduating from Perkins Institute.

When offered the job to be Helen Keller’s teacher, Anne accepted.  Her life experiences were well suited to Helen’s strong-willed personality. 

Helen writes about meeting Anne for the first time.

“I felt approaching footsteps, I stretched out my hand as I supposed to my mother. Some one took it, and I was caught up and held close in the arms of her who had come to reveal all things to me, and, more than all things else, to love me.” – Helen Keller, The Story of My Life.

Day after day Anne would have Helen touch an item, then finger spell the word into Helen’s hand. Then one day at the well-house, with water pouring over one hand and Anne finger spelling the letters in the other, Helen made the connection.  The liquid pouring over her hand was “w-a-t-e-r”.

“That living word awakened my soul, gave it light,  hope, joy, set me free?  There were barriers still, it is true, but barriers that could in time be swept away.  I left the well-house eager to learn.” – Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

As Helen’s vocabulary grew, so did her desire to communicate more effectively. Helen wanted to be able to speak and read lips with her hand.  A woman named Sarah Fuller, principal of Horace Mann School, offered to teach her.  Anne took Helen to the lessons.  

“Miss Fuller gave me eleven lessons in all. I shall never forget the surprise and delight I felt when I uttered my first connected sentence, ‘It is warm.’ True, they were broken and stammering syllables; but they were human speech. My soul, conscious of new strength, came out of bondage, and was reaching through those broken symbols of speech to all knowledge and all faith.’ – Helen Keller, The Story of My Life

Effective communication takes time.  Helen's words remind me that even if it’s not perfect, like putting the words together for this blog, it’s important to keep working at it.  I desire to find “new strength” to find my voice. 

Today we saw how Anne pushed through the pain of abandonment and poverty to complete her education.  How not giving up and signing over and over until Helen made the connection, paid off. Once the connection was made, Helen thrived and wanted to push through to even greater achievement in communicating with others.  In the next blog, we’ll go deeper into Helen’s journey toward fulfillment in “Be a Bridge Builder.”

Feel free to share your ideas and/or journey in the comments section below.

Next Steps:

Read more about:

Pushing through the Pain "Painful Practice" - The Art of Work by Jeff Goins

Anne Sullivan

Helen Keller 

For notification of my next blog, "Be a Bridge Builder", sign up by clicking on "Subscribe To".

Accidental Apprenticeships

Nubble Light, Cape Neddick, ME - Cal Shook

“An accidental apprenticeship begins with listening to your life and paying attention to the ways in which you’re already being prepared for your life’s work.” – Jeff Goins

You are who you are because of your experiences.  Some are a result of the life you were born into; others are by choice.  As you listen to your life, patterns will emerge.

Life is happening all around you – explore its mysteries.  The answers are within reach, seek them out.
Answers to questions like:
What fuels your soul?
What are you drawn to?
What do you want to accomplish?
What are you here for?

Move into action by acknowledging your accidental apprenticeships.  Learn from them. Masters are the people in your life who have the skills and/or qualities that move you forward in fulfilling your life’s purpose?

“Every story of success is a story of community.  Although mentors are hard to come by, accidental apprenticeships are everywhere. Your life is preparing you for what’s to come.” Jeff Goins

Follow Your Dreams.

Author Elizabeth (Betty) Wilder and I met several years ago at York Ogunquit church.  During the time we've known each other, Betty has written her first novel, "The Spruce Gum Box" (at the age of 72), and two subsequent novels to finish the trilogy.  She is currently working on her forth book. Betty not only inspires me, she encourages all of us to follow our dreams and take action no matter what stage of life we’re at.

Betty keeps in touch with friends on Facebook by sharing her travels and current engagements.  She generously promotes other authors on Twitter.  It’s through her promotion of Jen Blood’s book, “All the Blue Eyed Angels,” that another accidental apprenticeship came into my life.

Connect with Others.

Jen Blood, author of the “Erin Solomon Mysteries” knows how to engage a social media audience with her personal and relatable style.

One of my favorite examples happened with her Facebook group called the “Erin Solomon Press Corps.” Jen asked us for help.  She wasn’t sure about the new cover design for “Southern Cross”.   A lively discussion followed, adaptations made, and a new cover design approved.  I enjoyed watching this process unfold.

Jen connects with others (her followers) throughout the week and offers a variety of promotions. When her name or group pops up, there’s a curiosity factor that’s hard to resist.

Putting it all together.

Elizabeth (Betty) Wilder and Jen Blood are two masters that I am grateful to be learning from.  The examples given are only a small glimpse into what I’m acquiring from both of them.

As I work my way through Jeff Goin’s book “The Art of Work,” I’m gaining new insights that are moving me forward as a writer.  These accidental apprenticeships are helping me do just that.

What are the accidental apprenticeships in your life?  How are you using them to move forward with your life’s purpose?

Next Steps
Read more about:
Accidental Apprenticeships podcast with “The Art of Work” author Jeff Goins
Elizabeth (Betty) Wilder at her author page: Elizabeth Wilder
Jen Blood at her author’s page:  Jen Blood     .
Check back next week for "Pushing Through the Pain."

Exploring the Writer Within

Explore - Long Sands, York, ME - Cal Shook

Be Aware – Listen to Your Life – Part 2

“You don’t ‘just know’ what you calling is. You must listen for clues along the way, discovering what your life can tell you. Awareness comes with practice.” – Jeff Goins

Clue #1: An Inner Yearning

When I was eight my cousin Mary Ann was born with Down syndrome.  A few weeks later my brother Jay was born.  There were complications, during delivery, where we almost lost both of them.  Days later, Mom and Jay returned home.  Mom’s recovery would take time; Jay appeared unharmed.

Both Mary Ann and Jay delighted me with their individuality and abilities as they grew. Mary Ann’s beautiful smile and laid back nature plus Jay’s zest for life and rambunctiousness made for unique play time experiences during family gatherings.  While observing the two of them something kindled inside of me, a yearning to help people thrive and use their abilities to a live a happy and fulfilling life.

Clue #2: A Desire

My first memory of writing:

While a single mom was out working, her three teenagers decided to have a party.  Beer was being passed around and at times wound up in the fish tank.  Note to self, don’t bring out a pocket sized pad of paper and pen in the middle of a party and start writing.  It makes people uneasy and you might not stay very long.

Clue #3:  Finding Meaningful Expression

College and working toward a degree in Human Services gave me ample opportunities to serve others then write about the experiences.  I enjoy the creative process.  When the words flow and provoke a reaction from a reader it stirs my soul.  It felt good to get comments like “a unique take” and “creative” in response to my papers.

One of my favorite people to work with and write about was “Berkie” who’s only home for the first 40 years of his life was a state institution.  Living conditions were deplorable. Thanks to deinstitutionalization, “Berkie” was sent to a group home.  This afforded him ample opportunities to gain social and work relate skills through field trips and attending a sheltered workshop. When I first met “Berkie” he could barely say “yes” and “no”.  As experiences heightened his emotions, more words started to come out.  “Tree”, “Chop”, and “Big” came out in joyous delight as he expressed his enthusiasm about his first Christmas tree.  Then there’s the riding stable where “Berkie” looked a bit nervous as he stared at the horse towering over his small frame. Two of us helped him on.  As his body slid into the saddle, he looked down and yelled, “Me Break Neck!”…“Me Break Neck!”. The horse was carefully moved forward and within minutes “Berkie’s” fear turned into joy.

Uncovering the clues: 1. An inner yearning to empower others, 2. A desire to record events, and 3. A pursuit of meaningful expression, have rekindled the writer within.

What is your life telling you?  Is there a writer in you? Maybe there’s something else waiting to burst forth?  Share your thoughts in the comments section below.

Next steps:

Listening to Your Life audio podcast, with “The Art of Work” author Jeff Goins.

Check back next week for: “Accidental Apprenticeships” or "Subcribe" to this blog.